I'm a big dreamer, and I always have been. I remember in kindergarten, I wanted to be a farmer's wife so I could collect eggs, milk cows, and ride horses all day long. I planned on having many children so I could send them out to work the fields with their father. Fairly soon after that, I changed my mind and decided to be a ballerina teacher artist. Obviously, I changed my mind about that as well. As a general rule, I get attached to my dreams for a while, then eventually move on to something bigger and better. But the one dream I've always had, the one dream I cherish more than any other, is that of being a wife and mother. I dream of my husband, what he'll be like, and how much we'll love each other. Of all the things I've had to put in God's hands, that dream is by far the hardest.
God and I were talking about my dream of getting married and he asked me a question that completely shocked me. He asked me if I would ever cheat on my husband. I was appalled at the thought, and I couldn't believe that God would even ask me that! God! The one who knows my heart even better than I do! I told God that no, I NEVER would. When I get married, I plan to cherish my husband. I will rub his head when it hurts and fix his dinner and make him feel like the greatest man on Earth. I'll speak life and truth to him... CHEAT on him?! I was confused and almost angry that God could even suggest such a thing. I sobered up pretty quickly, though, when God asked me quietly how I could cheat on Him. Oh. God loves me more than anyone. He loves me even more than my future husband will, and I should certainly love him more than any human! I mean, Christ died for me. He gave me eternal life and every blessing I've ever had. How can I expect to love and honor my imperfect, human husband when I can't dedicate myself to the one who is perfect and loves me with a perfect love? I do cheat on God. I'm perfectly willing to shove my time with him aside if something else needs doing. I pine after this and that and don't focus on the completion I have in him. God is my everything, but I keep seeking more.
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