Forgiven. And FREE!

Sometimes the most important things are put as number one on my 'Later List.' I know you know what I mean. I need to grade papers. I need to spend time with the Lord. I need to fix my fridge. I need to do laundry. I get myself so stressed out just thinking about all I have to do that I don't do any of it. In reality, if I'd just put first things first Matthew 6:33-style, I'd be just fine. I'd chill out and be in the right place to get done all I need to. Instead, I push my relationship with the Lord on the back-burner and wonder why nothing is going right.

I was beating myself up about my failures this evening. I just felt down and KNEW it was my fault. I've not been spending time worshipping, praying, reading the Bible, listening to the only one who can actually fix things for me. God reminded me of a lesson I learned years ago, when I was working at a day care. When he brings sin to my attention, what he wants is obedience. He doesn't want me to sit there and wallow in my sin. My getting all upset about what a terrible person I am is not the reaction God's looking for. He doesn't draw things to my attention to rub my face in my sin. He wants the best for me, and he wants me to stop getting in my own way! It's how I felt when I disciplined the kids I worked with.

Despite the reminder, I was still really frustrated. I asked God how many times we'd have to go through the same thing. I felt like it was unfair that God had to deal with me and my failures so many times. He brought to mind Jesus' instruction that we should all forgive one another 70 times 7. In other words, we need to forgive one another as often as the other person needs us to. If that's what God expects of us, mere humans, how much more will he forgive me! He already paid the price for every one of my sins. And it's not as if he didn't know how often I'd sin. Unlike the foolish builder in the Bible, God counted the cost before he invested in my life. He knew exactly what it would take to make the plans he has for me happen in my life, but he planned out great things for me, even knowing every step (and misstep) of my life.