One of my cherished daydreams a few years ago was that of becoming a grumpy old lady. I couldn't wait for the day when I could say whatever was on my mind and blame it on my age. I could be cantakerous and loud, and I could have a huge purse into which I'd dump napkins and sugar and ketchup packets from restaurants. I'd carry a cane and whack people who irritated me. I couldn't wait to have everything my way!
God really convicted me about my attitude. He reminded me that there was never going to be a time in which I could do whatever I wanted. I gave God my life, ALL of it, years ago. Still, I keep trying to carve out little corners for myself. Like, this weekend is MINE. Or these 20 minutes are MINE. I get really possessive of my time, and really grumpy when people interrupt me. My students have much the same attitude. I told them today that I would keep them after class 1 second for every time I had to tell them to stop talking. They got so angry! They told me I couldn't do that, that they were just going to walk out. Seriously? 1 second for every time they waste my time? They definitely earned that punishment and more, but they can't get it into their heads that classroom time is my time, not theirs. When will we learn, as followers of Christ, that all our time is His?
My dad told me today that a dear friend of my mother's is going to die within the next couple of days. She's been dying of cancer for a couple of years, but she's now reached the end. He told me about how her attitude, even in these last days, has been one of wanting her death to help her friends and family come to know the Lord. She uses every opportunity, even doped up on morphine, to witness to the people around her. How inspirational! A woman who, in the eyes of the world, has every right to be selfish, and she's selflessly spending her last earthly moments trying to introduce those she loves to Jesus. I can't even imagine what kind of impact I could have on this world if I spent my whole life with that mindset. I can imagine even less what would happen if we all did it. It's God's time.
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