It's so funny for me as a teacher to see how God teaches me things. I'm seeing such a pattern... lesson, break to absorb it, lesson, test. For example, these past couple of weeks, my pastor has been preaching on gratefulness. I was initially blown away by what he said. Wow... if Adam and Eve had focused on how grateful they were for all God gave them, they would have had no room to be ungrateful for the one thing he claimed only for himself. I tried to walk out gratefulness in my daily life, but it got a little lost in my immense to-do list. Next Sunday, same kind of thing. Wow... gratefulness, right! Yes, I need that! Then last night I was suddenly faced with a HUGE test of my ability to be grateful.
Interestingly, I had just been talking with another leader about how excited I am to be starting a small group for middle school girls. I was telling her that I couldn't wait to share an object lesson the Lord had used recently to make me think. I imagined two soda bottles: one filled and one empty. Even with a blindfold, you could pretty easily determine which was which. All you'd have to do is flick 'em both and see which one keels over.
I won't lie and say I'm super excited about the things going on in my life. Challenges are, yes, challenging. But I really saw myself in that object lesson, and I know that God is using these challenges to draw me to himself. If I'm filled with gratefulness to God for all the things I have, this circumstance, this little blip on my eternal life, will not knock me over. If, though, I don't allow God to fill me, I'm going to be thrown all over the place! I know that God is building character in me, and unlike in school, my looking to someone else for all my answers will not cause me to fail... in fact, looking to my heavenly father is the only way I can pass!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Don't flip out, flip over!
I was making French toast this morning and it started sticking to the bottom of the pan. Obviously, my first instinct was to flip it over to keep it from burning. Sadly, despite my best efforts and despite the cooking spray I'd used, the bread would NOT come up! I finally managed to flip it, but there was this layer of semi-burned eggy mess on the bottom of the pan. The French toast ended up looking mangled and tattered and lumpy. It still tasted alright, but I pride myself on presentation, and that French toast was not pretty.
How often do we do that? God looks down and says, "It's getting hot, eh? How about I flip you over?" And we say, "Um, no, thanks. I like it riiiiiight here!" God, don't change things. It's too hard right now, I'm too busy, I'm too sad, I'm too _____, and I can't take the kinds of changes you're proposing. And then we wonder why we feel burnt out.
How often do we do that? God looks down and says, "It's getting hot, eh? How about I flip you over?" And we say, "Um, no, thanks. I like it riiiiiight here!" God, don't change things. It's too hard right now, I'm too busy, I'm too sad, I'm too _____, and I can't take the kinds of changes you're proposing. And then we wonder why we feel burnt out.
Problems (mathematical and other)
I <3 words. I mean it. I can throw down a rap, spin out a story, or whip together a sonnet all without much effort. I read about 300 pages/day. I've been known to read cereal boxes at breakfast. So when images of a math book interrupted a pleasant daydream, I felt an immediate compulsion to grab some holy water and a crucifix. Begone, Devil!
Just kidding. Mostly. I really didn't hate math until we got to calculus, but I was frustrated that math never came as easily to my understanding as did pretty much everything else. My teachers would usually assign the even-numbered problems (you know, the ones that didn't have the answers in the back of the book?) so I'd have to go through and do the odd ones first, just to see if I understood. I suppose that I've just revealed myself as an overachiever. Well, I am, but really, it was the right thing to do. I had to figure out what I was doing, or I'd go through and mess up every mathematical convention known to man. For each night's homework, here's how it went. I'd do number one, check the answer, fix my work. I'd do number three, check the answer, fix my work. By then, I usually understood what I had to do, so I'd go on to numbers two and four.
As I continued thinking about that process, God showed me that that's kind of how it works with us as believers. The Bible is meant to be a tool to shape you into the you that God wants! In the Bible, you read about Jesus and various believers like Paul, Peter, John, David, Moses... you learn what to do and what not to do. The goal isn't to be Jesus, Paul etc. You can't do that, and God doesn't want you to. The goal is to learn how to live for God and then to do it yourself. Like with math, you can't just do the exact same thing for each question. Let's say the answer to number one was 32. You can't just write '32' down as the answer to number two! You have to learn the process, how you get the answer, and then take that process and apply it to the next question. Your life will not look exactly like others'. That's not the point. You should be going through the same process, but the results will often be very different.
Just kidding. Mostly. I really didn't hate math until we got to calculus, but I was frustrated that math never came as easily to my understanding as did pretty much everything else. My teachers would usually assign the even-numbered problems (you know, the ones that didn't have the answers in the back of the book?) so I'd have to go through and do the odd ones first, just to see if I understood. I suppose that I've just revealed myself as an overachiever. Well, I am, but really, it was the right thing to do. I had to figure out what I was doing, or I'd go through and mess up every mathematical convention known to man. For each night's homework, here's how it went. I'd do number one, check the answer, fix my work. I'd do number three, check the answer, fix my work. By then, I usually understood what I had to do, so I'd go on to numbers two and four.
As I continued thinking about that process, God showed me that that's kind of how it works with us as believers. The Bible is meant to be a tool to shape you into the you that God wants! In the Bible, you read about Jesus and various believers like Paul, Peter, John, David, Moses... you learn what to do and what not to do. The goal isn't to be Jesus, Paul etc. You can't do that, and God doesn't want you to. The goal is to learn how to live for God and then to do it yourself. Like with math, you can't just do the exact same thing for each question. Let's say the answer to number one was 32. You can't just write '32' down as the answer to number two! You have to learn the process, how you get the answer, and then take that process and apply it to the next question. Your life will not look exactly like others'. That's not the point. You should be going through the same process, but the results will often be very different.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Just keep swimming...
Galatians 6:9 -- Let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Sometimes life seems to me to be a very repetitive thing. I go to sleep, wake up, get tired, go to sleep, wake up, get tired... I clean my house, it gets messy, I clean my house, it gets messy... I brush my teeth, I eat, I do it again... the WORST, though, is laundry. I put on clothes and wear them for, what? 15 hours? At most 18? Or with jeans, I may wear them a few days in a row. Still. My clothes pretty much always spend more time dirty and on my floor than they do being worn. It's so annoying! I don't know why, but it bothers me that nothing I do seems to stay done. I make repairs on my house and something else breaks. I guess I kind of feel like my efforts are futile. Like nothing I do has any permanent results.
The funny thing is that I keep doing the same things even though they frustrate me. I mean, just because I'm annoyed that I have to keep going to sleep or cleaning the house or brushing my teeth doesn't mean that I stop doing all of those things! We so often take it for granted that if something is irritating us, we can just make it go away somehow. Ugh! That music is too loud, so I'll just turn it down. That person bugs me, so I'll just avoid him/her. My pastor said something I didn't like, so I'll go to another church. WHAT?! No way! We keep doing things like brushing our teeth even if they're annoying because we know they're good for us. Well, the Bible, the Holy Word of God, tells us that it's good for us to keep on doing good and to keep doing good with energy and enthusiasm. It may be difficult to keep loving that person and forgiving him/her over and over and over and over... but that's what we're supposed to do. Actually, it may be just as difficult to forgive ourselves over and over and over! But God tells us to keep up the good work and to trust that he will come through for us. Don't get fed up with the good works in your life. If you just walk away, the Bible hints that you might not get any benefit even from the effort you did put in. You'll reap IF you don't give up. So keep going! Like any decent farmer, God knows exactly how long his seeds need to grow underground before they can harvested.
Sometimes life seems to me to be a very repetitive thing. I go to sleep, wake up, get tired, go to sleep, wake up, get tired... I clean my house, it gets messy, I clean my house, it gets messy... I brush my teeth, I eat, I do it again... the WORST, though, is laundry. I put on clothes and wear them for, what? 15 hours? At most 18? Or with jeans, I may wear them a few days in a row. Still. My clothes pretty much always spend more time dirty and on my floor than they do being worn. It's so annoying! I don't know why, but it bothers me that nothing I do seems to stay done. I make repairs on my house and something else breaks. I guess I kind of feel like my efforts are futile. Like nothing I do has any permanent results.
The funny thing is that I keep doing the same things even though they frustrate me. I mean, just because I'm annoyed that I have to keep going to sleep or cleaning the house or brushing my teeth doesn't mean that I stop doing all of those things! We so often take it for granted that if something is irritating us, we can just make it go away somehow. Ugh! That music is too loud, so I'll just turn it down. That person bugs me, so I'll just avoid him/her. My pastor said something I didn't like, so I'll go to another church. WHAT?! No way! We keep doing things like brushing our teeth even if they're annoying because we know they're good for us. Well, the Bible, the Holy Word of God, tells us that it's good for us to keep on doing good and to keep doing good with energy and enthusiasm. It may be difficult to keep loving that person and forgiving him/her over and over and over and over... but that's what we're supposed to do. Actually, it may be just as difficult to forgive ourselves over and over and over! But God tells us to keep up the good work and to trust that he will come through for us. Don't get fed up with the good works in your life. If you just walk away, the Bible hints that you might not get any benefit even from the effort you did put in. You'll reap IF you don't give up. So keep going! Like any decent farmer, God knows exactly how long his seeds need to grow underground before they can harvested.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Rules
As I'm planning for the new school year, I'm thinking back to last year and trying to take what I've learned to come up with some class rules. I'm in the process of hammering out in explicit detail exactly what I expect, what I will not tolerate, and what the consequences will be for misbehavior. I know I have to be super specific and super strict the first few weeks at least, and more than likely, I'll have to continue that for the whole first semester.
I'm not a mean person. I'm usually fairly easy going, and I can be talked into all kinds of shenanigans because I love to have a good time! In fact, I've been a popular babysitter over the years because I have a strict 'say yes until you have to say no' policy. Can we blow bubbles in the kitchen? Sure! Can we build a fort using every blanket in the house? Absolutely. If it won't hurt the kids and they're willing to help me clean up whatever mess they make, I will pretty much always say yes. After hearing yes so often, the kids seem to understand that no means NO. They sometimes push me on it, but after a couple of times, they get that I only say no if I really have to and if I really mean it.
Sadly, the 'yes' policy is completely ineffective while teaching. If you say yes to the kids one time, they assume they can do that thing again, and then they'll try to push farther. Eventually, they're completely out of control, and it's impossible to teach them anything, including the important life lessons of work ethic and respect for authority. The best bet when teaching is to say no until you come to a really easy request once in a blue moon and then, after a great deal of "thought," reluctantly agree. With conditions.
I remember having a similar problem with my dog, Jake. He loved to run and play outside and I loved being able to let him! But I could only let him run in a fenced-in yard. There are lots of places I could have taken Jake to run- a nearby river, college campus, woods, jogging trails... but I couldn't take Jake anywhere without a leash. He'd always run off. It was so frustrating! If Jake could have just run around and then come back, he'd have had so much more of an opportunity to run. Instead, he was denied what he wanted, because he couldn't control himself even a little bit.
I really do want the best for my students, and I really did want the best for my dog. Unfortunately, I couldn't give them the freedom they desired, not because I was mean and controlling, but because they got in their own way. When you feel hemmed in by God, remember that he's in the same position. He wants the best for you, and he won't let anything get in the way... even you!
I'm not a mean person. I'm usually fairly easy going, and I can be talked into all kinds of shenanigans because I love to have a good time! In fact, I've been a popular babysitter over the years because I have a strict 'say yes until you have to say no' policy. Can we blow bubbles in the kitchen? Sure! Can we build a fort using every blanket in the house? Absolutely. If it won't hurt the kids and they're willing to help me clean up whatever mess they make, I will pretty much always say yes. After hearing yes so often, the kids seem to understand that no means NO. They sometimes push me on it, but after a couple of times, they get that I only say no if I really have to and if I really mean it.
Sadly, the 'yes' policy is completely ineffective while teaching. If you say yes to the kids one time, they assume they can do that thing again, and then they'll try to push farther. Eventually, they're completely out of control, and it's impossible to teach them anything, including the important life lessons of work ethic and respect for authority. The best bet when teaching is to say no until you come to a really easy request once in a blue moon and then, after a great deal of "thought," reluctantly agree. With conditions.
I remember having a similar problem with my dog, Jake. He loved to run and play outside and I loved being able to let him! But I could only let him run in a fenced-in yard. There are lots of places I could have taken Jake to run- a nearby river, college campus, woods, jogging trails... but I couldn't take Jake anywhere without a leash. He'd always run off. It was so frustrating! If Jake could have just run around and then come back, he'd have had so much more of an opportunity to run. Instead, he was denied what he wanted, because he couldn't control himself even a little bit.
I really do want the best for my students, and I really did want the best for my dog. Unfortunately, I couldn't give them the freedom they desired, not because I was mean and controlling, but because they got in their own way. When you feel hemmed in by God, remember that he's in the same position. He wants the best for you, and he won't let anything get in the way... even you!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Proceed with Caution
I learned in a college linguistics class that the number of words a language has shows you how important that thing is in the culture. So, for example, a country with a ton of words for "rain" would probably have a lot of rain. Now think about how many words and phrases we have in English for sex. Sex is important, and not just culturally. One of my pastors once pointed out that sex is for getting intimate with someone, or getting close to another person. It's also the only way you can reproduce. Considering how important it is, it's not at all surprising that Satan has come up with all kinds of perversions and lies relating to sex, including the lie that it's evil. The Bible has something completely different to say.
It came to me the other day that as much as I love my family, the only thing that really sets our relationships apart from the ones I have with other people is that we share the same blood. I happened to be born to my family, so now I'm loyal to them as opposed to any other random family. The Bible actually commands me to consider my family different just because they're my family. Matthew 15:4-9 makes it clear that God's law is that we honor our parents, or in other words, give a special respect to the people who raised us. Ezekiel 44:25 gives priests permission to put aside the rules regarding staying away from dead people for the sake of their parents and siblings. Christians often call each other brothers and sisters to remind themselves and each other that they're supposed to share a close, forgiving, committed love. Families are a big deal in the Bible. Families are punished together or forgiven together. What could be more important?
While both friends and neighbors are important in the Bible, I don't see any verses showing that either takes the place of family. The Bible never says to honor your friends or neighbors so you can live a long life. The Bible does say to love your neighbor, but "your neighbor" means basically everybody. It's not a special, person-specific role in your life. There is only one relationship in the Bible that takes precedence over family, and that's the relationship between a man and a wife. Read Mark 10:1-12. What I get out of that passage is that it's okay for you to leave your family to start a family with your spouse. Your relationship with your spouse, unlike the relationship you have with your family, is so intimate that you are actually one with that person. Unlike your relationship with your parents and siblings, there is no relationship you can seek that would make it okay for you to leave your spouse.
To recap: relationship with spouse > familial relationship > relationships with friends and neighbors. So... what's the difference? Why is a husband or wife a bigger deal than friends or family? Track with me here. Family, friends, neighbors... they're tied to you with blood, years of history, proximity, and interests. The only thing that ties you and a spouse together that you don't have with any of the other relationships is sex. That's it! That's what makes you one with that person, that's why you aren't supposed to leave him or her, and that's why you have to be so careful with how you approach relationships. When you have sex, you become one with that person. If someone is committed to becoming one with you, making you an extension of him/her for-EV-er, he or she had best be willing to promise that to you in front of all the people you both care about and who care about each of you. If he or she won't promise in front of people who will help make sure he/she lives up to it to take all of you (body, personality, hopes, dreams, issues...) and cherish all of you before taking your body, why in the world would you even consider taking on that person as a part of you? That's a person you cannot trust.
It came to me the other day that as much as I love my family, the only thing that really sets our relationships apart from the ones I have with other people is that we share the same blood. I happened to be born to my family, so now I'm loyal to them as opposed to any other random family. The Bible actually commands me to consider my family different just because they're my family. Matthew 15:4-9 makes it clear that God's law is that we honor our parents, or in other words, give a special respect to the people who raised us. Ezekiel 44:25 gives priests permission to put aside the rules regarding staying away from dead people for the sake of their parents and siblings. Christians often call each other brothers and sisters to remind themselves and each other that they're supposed to share a close, forgiving, committed love. Families are a big deal in the Bible. Families are punished together or forgiven together. What could be more important?
While both friends and neighbors are important in the Bible, I don't see any verses showing that either takes the place of family. The Bible never says to honor your friends or neighbors so you can live a long life. The Bible does say to love your neighbor, but "your neighbor" means basically everybody. It's not a special, person-specific role in your life. There is only one relationship in the Bible that takes precedence over family, and that's the relationship between a man and a wife. Read Mark 10:1-12. What I get out of that passage is that it's okay for you to leave your family to start a family with your spouse. Your relationship with your spouse, unlike the relationship you have with your family, is so intimate that you are actually one with that person. Unlike your relationship with your parents and siblings, there is no relationship you can seek that would make it okay for you to leave your spouse.
To recap: relationship with spouse > familial relationship > relationships with friends and neighbors. So... what's the difference? Why is a husband or wife a bigger deal than friends or family? Track with me here. Family, friends, neighbors... they're tied to you with blood, years of history, proximity, and interests. The only thing that ties you and a spouse together that you don't have with any of the other relationships is sex. That's it! That's what makes you one with that person, that's why you aren't supposed to leave him or her, and that's why you have to be so careful with how you approach relationships. When you have sex, you become one with that person. If someone is committed to becoming one with you, making you an extension of him/her for-EV-er, he or she had best be willing to promise that to you in front of all the people you both care about and who care about each of you. If he or she won't promise in front of people who will help make sure he/she lives up to it to take all of you (body, personality, hopes, dreams, issues...) and cherish all of you before taking your body, why in the world would you even consider taking on that person as a part of you? That's a person you cannot trust.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
What I Wouldn't Give
I'm exhausted. Really, really exhausted. I have to drag myself through every day. I don't do a whole lot beyond my job, but I still find myself feeling overwhelmed and completely depleted, like a piece of land that's been over-mined and over-farmed, and now pretty much just sits there, good for nothing but to "grow" rocks. I feel like all the goodness has been sucked out of me. I am a popsicle with no juice. I look around me at my co-workers, my students, my friends, and my church leaders and I try hard to avoid any one-on-one encounters. I'm ashamed. Any one of them could berate me for my failures, and whether they choose to or not, I don't want to chance it. I don't know how to be better; I'm already stretched too thin, and there's nothing I'm doing that I'm willing to give up.
Feeling as I do, it's easy to imagine a future in which I have free time. I dream of spending time with friends, investing in people, working out, and grocery shopping on a more regular basis. I think about how incredible it would be to have one extra day a week, just ONE! so I could catch up on my life. I'd give ANYTHING!
Wait. Wait, that sounds familiar and dangerous to me... oh, yes. The story of Rumplestiltskin. The story of Esau and Jacob. While one is just a fairy tale and the other is actual history, both have this in common. Someone got desperate for a quick fix to a current issue and both gave away their future. Interestingly, the fairy tale ends well. The true story? Well, Esau never gets his birthright back.
I'm tired, yes. But I'm where I need to be. If I choose now to trade away my destiny and my potential for a little rest, my future will be bleak, and I won't be able to change it. No, I'll learn from example and keep trucking.
Feeling as I do, it's easy to imagine a future in which I have free time. I dream of spending time with friends, investing in people, working out, and grocery shopping on a more regular basis. I think about how incredible it would be to have one extra day a week, just ONE! so I could catch up on my life. I'd give ANYTHING!
Wait. Wait, that sounds familiar and dangerous to me... oh, yes. The story of Rumplestiltskin. The story of Esau and Jacob. While one is just a fairy tale and the other is actual history, both have this in common. Someone got desperate for a quick fix to a current issue and both gave away their future. Interestingly, the fairy tale ends well. The true story? Well, Esau never gets his birthright back.
I'm tired, yes. But I'm where I need to be. If I choose now to trade away my destiny and my potential for a little rest, my future will be bleak, and I won't be able to change it. No, I'll learn from example and keep trucking.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Who do you think you are?
In Genesis, Adam and Eve hide from God because they are ashamed of their nakedness. From the time I was little, I've heard that passage read and read it myself over and over and it never occurred to me to take it personally. I wear clothes. So I'm good.
God brought it to my attention recently that there's a more symbolic take on the Genesis passage. One part of me was simultaneously delighted and horrified-- delighted at the subtle symbolism and horrified that I'd missed it for so many years. Naked just means without something. Without clothes, in this case. But I think we're all naked in one way or another. What do you lack? For me, it's often a healthy sense of self-worth. Now, however we're naked in the presence of God, whatever we feel we're lacking, our first instinct is to hide. To try to cover up. Adam and Eve must have looked so ridiculous when they did that! The kiddie Bibles all show them wearing these well-tailored leaf outfits that could probably win a prize on one of those weird design shows where they design outfits out of produce or garbage bags. In reality, there's no way they would have provided for themselves so well.
God's response to Adam and Eve's fashion faux pas is very telling. He asks them, "who told you that you were naked?" Oh, man. Time to fess up. We uh... we've been listening and following another influence that you specifically warned us NOT to listen to, and now we're miserable and we feel less than... naked... so we hid from you.
Wow. Where do I even start? First of all, this should sound super familiar. God told us to be in the world not of the world, but we listen all the time to the blatant lies and the distorted truth that the world wants us to hear. Then we hide from God. From GOD! The only one who can tell us the truth about ourselves! We listen to lies and cut ourselves off from the truth. When we finally do allow God to speak, he tells us exactly what we should have known all along. "Who told you that you were naked?" In otherwords, "who said that? Because it sure wasn't me!" God knew the whole time that Adam and Eve weren't wearing any clothes. It was kind of obvious. But Adam and Eve never felt less than, and God never saw them as less than. Suddenly they listen to a liar and they feel naked. Keep in mind that they weren't wearing clothes even before this whole snake talking thing. What changed wasn't their wardrobe. It was their hearts.
You and I are deficient in some ways. Don't be offended. The Bible (and common knowledge!) makes it clear that we are flawed. We're missing some things. We're naked. But God knows all of that and is not upset! You know it's not God's voice speaking when you hear a laundry list of your sins and you walk away feeling inferior. Whatever makes you want to hide, that's not God! God calls you to his presence even in your imperfection, your nakedness. You don't need to be anyone other than yourself. God provided for Adam and Eve's nakedness when they needed him to. Until that point, they were plenty warm in the garden of Eden and had no need for clothes! If there's an area of your life that makes you feel naked, remember that God hasn't called you that and that he will take care of your needs.
God brought it to my attention recently that there's a more symbolic take on the Genesis passage. One part of me was simultaneously delighted and horrified-- delighted at the subtle symbolism and horrified that I'd missed it for so many years. Naked just means without something. Without clothes, in this case. But I think we're all naked in one way or another. What do you lack? For me, it's often a healthy sense of self-worth. Now, however we're naked in the presence of God, whatever we feel we're lacking, our first instinct is to hide. To try to cover up. Adam and Eve must have looked so ridiculous when they did that! The kiddie Bibles all show them wearing these well-tailored leaf outfits that could probably win a prize on one of those weird design shows where they design outfits out of produce or garbage bags. In reality, there's no way they would have provided for themselves so well.
God's response to Adam and Eve's fashion faux pas is very telling. He asks them, "who told you that you were naked?" Oh, man. Time to fess up. We uh... we've been listening and following another influence that you specifically warned us NOT to listen to, and now we're miserable and we feel less than... naked... so we hid from you.
Wow. Where do I even start? First of all, this should sound super familiar. God told us to be in the world not of the world, but we listen all the time to the blatant lies and the distorted truth that the world wants us to hear. Then we hide from God. From GOD! The only one who can tell us the truth about ourselves! We listen to lies and cut ourselves off from the truth. When we finally do allow God to speak, he tells us exactly what we should have known all along. "Who told you that you were naked?" In otherwords, "who said that? Because it sure wasn't me!" God knew the whole time that Adam and Eve weren't wearing any clothes. It was kind of obvious. But Adam and Eve never felt less than, and God never saw them as less than. Suddenly they listen to a liar and they feel naked. Keep in mind that they weren't wearing clothes even before this whole snake talking thing. What changed wasn't their wardrobe. It was their hearts.
You and I are deficient in some ways. Don't be offended. The Bible (and common knowledge!) makes it clear that we are flawed. We're missing some things. We're naked. But God knows all of that and is not upset! You know it's not God's voice speaking when you hear a laundry list of your sins and you walk away feeling inferior. Whatever makes you want to hide, that's not God! God calls you to his presence even in your imperfection, your nakedness. You don't need to be anyone other than yourself. God provided for Adam and Eve's nakedness when they needed him to. Until that point, they were plenty warm in the garden of Eden and had no need for clothes! If there's an area of your life that makes you feel naked, remember that God hasn't called you that and that he will take care of your needs.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wake up!
I really hate being honked at. Being honked at makes me feel so... judged. Like someone somewhere bottled up some hatred, stuck it into a steering wheel, and suddenly released a little in my direction with a loud, irritating noise. I've often wished for a different system. Like shooting a suction arrow with a message. Or maybe we could have several different car horns: one to say hello, one to gently encourage another driver to pay attention, one to quickly warn someone of danger. This one-honk deal sounds so angry to me. I know that honking is important for communicating with other drivers. I just don't like it.
God honked at me the other day. I was living my life with all its ups and downs. I was on a downslide, but so what? We all go through it. We just need to accept the fact that life is sometimes awful; keep trucking through and it'll get better eventually. Probably. If it doesn't, you just have to try to put on your happy face anyway and do your best to... HOOOONK!
WHAT!?
Suddenly I was alert. God? God had gotten my attention in a way that jolted me, startled me, woke me up, and (to be perfectly honest) both irritated and hurt me. What was that for? Despite all that God said to me about dreaming bigger and living for him, I had once again fallen into a pattern of mediocre living and negative thinking. I was cruising through life 10 miles/hour below the speed limit, living below my potential, and not noticing or caring. I was upset by God's way of reminding me who I am. I couldn't figure out what to do with myself, but I thought that it might be a good idea to worship. I played and sang through several songs and realized that God really had no other option. He could have just let my attitude go, but it would have been dangerous, and he loves me! He had to let me know that I couldn't go on like I had been. I'd been falling behind on worship, prayer, and reading the Bible. Talk about a bad combination! I've really stepped it up recently, and I feel so peaceful and content. I hate that it took pain to get me back on track, but I'm grateful for where I am now.
God honked at me the other day. I was living my life with all its ups and downs. I was on a downslide, but so what? We all go through it. We just need to accept the fact that life is sometimes awful; keep trucking through and it'll get better eventually. Probably. If it doesn't, you just have to try to put on your happy face anyway and do your best to... HOOOONK!
WHAT!?
Suddenly I was alert. God? God had gotten my attention in a way that jolted me, startled me, woke me up, and (to be perfectly honest) both irritated and hurt me. What was that for? Despite all that God said to me about dreaming bigger and living for him, I had once again fallen into a pattern of mediocre living and negative thinking. I was cruising through life 10 miles/hour below the speed limit, living below my potential, and not noticing or caring. I was upset by God's way of reminding me who I am. I couldn't figure out what to do with myself, but I thought that it might be a good idea to worship. I played and sang through several songs and realized that God really had no other option. He could have just let my attitude go, but it would have been dangerous, and he loves me! He had to let me know that I couldn't go on like I had been. I'd been falling behind on worship, prayer, and reading the Bible. Talk about a bad combination! I've really stepped it up recently, and I feel so peaceful and content. I hate that it took pain to get me back on track, but I'm grateful for where I am now.
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